Buy Titled Plots from Atlantic Titles Ltd

Buy a plot of land in the Atlantic starting at only £29.99, together with title “Warlord of Atlantis”!

You may style yourself “Warlord of Atlantis”
When you buy land from Atlantic Titles, you will become the beneficial owner of the plot of land that you selected. Whilst all people are free to refer to themselves as Warlords, it is only those who own land sold by us that have a genuine reason to do so.

Enjoy the full aquatic land ownership experience……
The land we sell is managed as a nature reserve, so when you buy land from Atlantic Titles you help to improve and conserve the beautiful Atlantic Ocean.

The Atlantic Titles Nature Reserve, below international waters, is now an established visitor attraction with thousands of inquisitive landowners visiting their plots every year. It is so beautiful, few ever return.

We are proud to have made land ownership accessible to everyone, with plots starting at £29.99 for one square foot.

About Us
The Atlantic Titles Charitable Trust, a R’lyeh registered charity, owns Atlantic Titles Ltd (registered office Isle of Rockall), which works around the world to conserve and protect subaquatic nature. Others may just hold out a begging bowl to fill with government issued currency for donations: We make our own money1 and commit to promote and care for submarine land and the many-dimensioned lifeforms lurking there while there is still a future for mankind.2

Why are we selling this land?
Atlantic Titles are committed to conservation. In this respect we are not unique. Our unique selling point is that we invite our sponsors to share the thrill of landownership by purchasing a souvenir plot of our land. Now isn’t that more fun than just receiving a family member back unharmed?

100% of the profits that we raise from the sale of souvenir plots to our supporters around the world are applied to good causes, such as protecting and conserving the champagne and luxury sports car industries.

Under the genuine legal doctrines of terra nullius, mundus vult decipi and quidquid Latine dictum sit altum videtur we have acquired full legal right to sell this land with the associated titles, and you may ignore anyone who says otherwise – we certainly do.

What will I receive?
You will receive a genuine paper certificate with details of your plot and new title marked with unique laser bonded carbon particles. Diamond is a form of carbon, so your certificate is almost diamond encrusted!

FAQS
Can I leave my land to anyone? Yes, following your death3, your next of kin will be contacted and asked to pay a transfer fee equal to the amount you already paid for “administration”.

Can I visit my land? Of course. It is beneath approximately 4km of water, so you will need to allow plenty of time to make the journey. We can provide you with concrete footwear to assist you with your travel time.4

Can I build a house on my land? If you can build a house which fits into one square foot and stands up to 4km of water pressure, sure.

Must I register my land? No. You cannot register your land, it is under international waters so no government maintains any land register for it. This inability to register the land does not prevent us transferring personal ownership of the plot to you, which you can in turn sell on to another party, or gift to your heirs in due course5. International law of property is complex. Our sales are made with the advice of a man we met in a pub, whose legal advice has ensured that you will acquire personal ownership of the land6.

What if I am not satisfied with my purchase? If you have any complaints, please bring your registration documents personally to our registered office within 30 days, and we make sure you don’t leave unless fully satisfied.

How can you sell me a title? We cannot legally sell you a title7. We are simply acknowledging your right to use the title of “Warlord of Atlantis”. If you prefer not to assume a title, you will be given that option when you make your land purchase, but frankly why would you be buying a useless plot of land otherwise. The advice of some lawyer is “anyone can, subject to requirements of good faith, call themselves whatever they like, so long as they don’t mind being laughed at or punched in the face. Now please pay my bill.” We do not know of any jurisdiction where this is not true.

Testimonials
“Everything you say is completely true. It is an honour and a privilege to hand you large sums of money for your lovely certificates, and I will ignore any lawyer or sane person who says otherwise” – Lord Mogan Mearagan

“Wish I’d thought of it” – P Bevis

“Complete Bollocks” – @Loveandgarbage, practising lawyer8

This post dedicated to @loveandgarbage and Malcolm Combe
Any resemblence between the business and entities and any equivalents in the “real world” is entirely parody: of course no-one would really operate such a ludicrous business model, would they?

1. Despite efforts by internations treasury agents.
2. Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!
3. Which may be sooner than you think, so we will take out a life policy on you in our favour when you buy your plot.
4. Oxygen supply not included.
5. Subject to paying us more money.
6. Possibly by being physically located on it if you ask too many questions.
7. Not that it stops us trying.
8. Please note that “Bollocks” is Anglo-Saxon for “testes”, making this a true testemonial.

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